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Sunday, April 2, 2017

Grandma Humor ~~ Early 1990s

Grandma saw this humorous letter somewhere and copied it to enclose in one of her letters to me sometime back in the early 1990s.



Dear Son:

Just a few lines to let you know I am still alive.  I am writing this slowly because I know you can't read very fast.  You won't know the house when you come home because we've moved.

About your father, he has got a lovely new job.  He has 500 men under him.  He cuts grass at the cemetery.  Your sister Mary had a baby this morning.  I haven't found out if it is a boy or a girl, so I don't know if you are an aunt or an uncle.

I went to the doctor on Thursday and your father came with me.  The doctor put a small tube in my mouth & told me not to talk for 10 minutes.  Your father offered to buy it from him.

Your uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of Irish whiskey at the Dublin brewery.  Some of his workmates tried to save him but he fought them off bravely.  They cremated him & it took 3 days to put the fire out.

It only rained twice this week, first for 3 days & then for 4 days.  We had a letter from the undertaker.  He said if the  last payment on your grandmother's plot isn't paid in 7 days, up she comes!  

Your loving mother

P.S.  I was going to send you 5 lbs but I have already sealed the envelope!

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